Only if you're willing to fail will you grow bigger

Hey, you, it’s 2014. I know that may be obvious to you, but for a moment let that thought roll around your brain. Recently someone referred to “10 years ago) and I realized my thought was, “Oh, back in the 1990s." Then, I had to do a double-take. 

10 years ago was 2004

When you go to “rewind and review" mode, what comes to your mind? Knowing a bit about how the psyche works, I know there’s a fight - at least a tennis match - that occurs mentally. The binary choice is between:

Remembering the wins, the good times, the successes.

Remembering the losses, the bad times, the failures.

Now, you tell me: Which ones come to your mind first? You know the saying that Tony Robbins drilled in to our minds in his tape program 20 years ago, right? (I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since I first listened to one of his programs; he was known as Anthony Robbins at the time!)

“We move toward pleasure, and away from pain."

Listen, Robbins was NOT the first person to say that, nor will he be the last. Look at anyone living. Or dying, if you have someone in your life fighting right now. They are looking to get better; feel better; be better.

We SHOULD study our failure.

There’s SO much information in our failures, it’s amazing. Before I share with you the three things to think about when you consider failure, let’s take a look at what failure provides.

Failure means:

1. We stepped in to the unknown.
2. We attempted something bigger.
3. We were focused on something new.
4. We believed it was possible to get there.

What would YOU say #5 is? Leave it in the comment area below; I’m going to pick one commenter and provide you with a 7-day membership with full access to the HABITS theme at Get Momentum.

What can we learn from failure?

There are three things that we can learn from our failures. When we can look back on what happened and realize that by taking that step toward what we didn’t know how to do, we put ourselves in a position to grow, and go further…faster. You’re the kind of person who wants this, believe me...

When you look back on the last decade or so, what do you remember the most? Was it something you wanted to do, but didn’t? What about a goal you worked on, but didn’t turn out like you’d hoped it would?

If you DON’T achieve what you set out to accomplish, do you call it:

Failure… ?

Before we go much further, let’s take a look at what the dictionary says “Failure” is:

lack of success; the omission of expected or required action; a lack or deficiency of a desirable quality

For a moment, I want you to take on the feeling you had when you experienced something that you feel was a failure. For a moment, let that roll around your mind, and your body. What comes up for you? Is it chronic and lasting? Sharp and acute? Can you see it in your minds’ eye, or hear the conversation going on? Personally, the one I am focused on right now is all-encompassing. I can literally feel myself balled up in a confused state of discomfort and loss...

 Now, with that feeling of experience right there, let’s look at the three things that we learn from failure:

1. Lack Success

Success, such a subjective term. When you pull to mind that failure you experienced - at least for me and the one I’m thinking of - it is a matter of what you wanted NOT matching the experience you got. Hmmmm, what an interesting position to be in. You know, I’ve seen more people spend SO MUCH time explaining that they didn’t get what they wanted, and how they really wanted it. They avoid discussing what they really SHOULD be talking about…how they were not (1) educated, (2) informed, (3) equipped, or (4) persistent enough to get it.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
- Bruce Lee 

In my book, Your Best Just Got Better, I share a story that BJ Bedford Miller told me about her making the United States Olympic Swim Team (after “failing” at the Olympic Trials twice!). When I asked her for some of her “secrets” to success, the two she gave me were: Stay Focused, Do the Work Necessary. If you only read once chapter of that book, start with Chapter 4. That chapter is written, and the activities are designed, to give you the step-by-step experience you need to stay focused on what you need and take advantage of the next two lessons in failure.

2. Omit the Required Action

Who are you? You’re a leader. You own a small business. You’re a parent. You serve the community. You influence others. You’re you...

Then, one day you wake up and realize it’s not enough. You want more. You want to BE, and DO, and HAVE more. But, you’ll have to recognize that the effort you’ve made to get you HERE is not equal to the work it’s going to take to get THERE. Where is your there? More responsibility? More employees and customers? More, better student-athlete? More community involvement? You get the point…more is more.

“Apply what you know: Just knowing is not enough, you must apply; willing is not enough, you must do. Test your self all the time.”
- Bruce Lee 

I’ve stopped reading the “quick tips” articles that abound on the internet. I don’t need another 4 ways to do this, 7 things to have to get that, 3 factors to avoid if… you get the point. I already know what I need to do, the biggest decision I have to make is whether I will STOP doing some of the things that get in my way of doing what I need to do. Oh by, that’s a big decision to make...

3. Lack a Desired Quality

When you’re moving toward a new level - a new position professionally, a new circle socially, a new experience emotionally - you’re going to have to check (and test) your qualities. I’ve seen some of the most determined and “hard-headed” people you’ll ever meet. And, I can usually tell you within a few minutes of talking with them if they’re going to “make it” or not. Now, of course “making it” is completely an opinion I have made up that may or may not have any value to add to their experience…but, here’s how Bruce Lee put it:

“Be flexible in your approach, learn from everybody and everything, don’t get locked in a particular style.”

What you have, who you are, what you do, where you go, when you experience joy, how you live over the next 60 months is going to come down to the 5 or so people you’ll spend time with. Look, you want to change your life? Change who you spend time with. You want to find new work to earn an income? Find people who have the kinds of experiences at their work that you would be interested in having?

Careful, don’t just try and find someone with a “JOB” you recognize, that’s rookie.

Want to know how I do it? I’ll email you one of my tactics, just send me a note via the contact page at Get Momentum…just click here.

Failure…it’s the experience you get to tap the “reset” button and go at it anew. If you can dream it - said Napoleon Hill - you can achieve it. Just remember to be yourself, to do the work necessary, and to always - ALWAYS - strive to be better.

 

 

 

Need some extra time this holiday season?

I believe that we actually get MORE free time during the Holidays than any other time of the year.
(Especially if you travel!)

YOU may not think this is true because you are not (yet) ready to take advantage of all the “extra” time that I am confident is going to come your way. Think of it as the “hurry up and wait” season...

Have you ever experienced something like this:

“You’re on your way to a meeting or an event - or maybe a family holiday gathering! Suddenly, something happens that surprises you, and you find yourself waiting. Maybe the people you’re meeting with are running late, your flight is delayed, or the commute is extremely long…"
What do you do with that “extra” time?

These windows of time are wasted if you’re not prepared.

The reason I prepare so intensely is that I want to get as much of the little stuff done and out of the way during these nonessential times. Then when I do arrive, I have time to relax and enjoy the time with my friends and family!

A Little Goes a Long Way

Take 1% of your day (= 15 minutes) right now and prepare for what you can do when you’re surprised with some of this “extra” time. (I’ve shared SOME of the items from my list this year below…)

Ok, so besides those thank you cards that I wrote about a while back, here are the rest of the “Top 10” things I know I can do in about 15 minutes.

Feel free to use this list while you make your own!
9. Unpack, purge and repack my travel bag or wallet
8. Start a “Jason’s Update” letter to send to one of my mentors
7. Review and organize the articles and content folders in my “cloud” storage
6. Do a “mind dump;” write down a list of +50 things that have my attention
5. Update the apps/icons on my SmartPhone, make sure what I need is  there
4. Clean up the desktop of my laptop computer (file, delete, share)
3. Listen to podcasts or audiobooks that I’ve downloaded to my SmartPhone
2. Review my calendar for the next 3 weeks looking for appointments/reservations to make
1. Call my mom (my dad, my sister, or a good friend)

More time is lost during the Holidays than any other time of year

It’s not hard to see why the Holidays are a perfect time to set yourself up for success by having at least one small task that you could do to push your mission forward.

Don’t think too hard about this -- your 15 minute activities might be listening to a podcast, researching gifts on your mobile phone, or simply slowing down and enjoying the moment (yes, you can consider this meditation as a task).

What is ONE 15-minute activity that you are going to focus on this Holiday season? Please type it in the comment section below. I’m curious to see what you’re hoping to accomplish. (Also, I look forward to all of us reading this post and getting ideas from one another.)

I wish you the BEST for a happy and stress-less Holiday season.

Want to achieve more? Do these 3 things.

Have you ever found yourself reflecting on a conversation long (even years) after you had it? I have. In fact, here’s one that I’m about to celebrate a new anniversary of: In 2011, a mentor of mine said:

“You’ve got to find a problem you can fall in love with. A problem that draws you in, teases you, and brings out the best in you."

If you want write that in a notebook. Memorize it. Say it to yourself in the morning as you drive/commute to work. Since Rao asked me that question years ago, I’ve been thinking, dreaming, wondering, and building with that prompt in mind. It was something he said over a #CoffeeChat in #Ventura, CA and I’ve used it to create workshops, write speeches, write books, and advise clients worldwide. When it’s time to create something and bring it to the planet, you (no doubt in my mind) want to experience success.

Have you discovered YOUR question yet??? I have…”How do I continue to get better, do less, and experience more in this short time I have on the planet?"

My grandpa passed away recently. For all 42.5 years I’ve been on the planet, I’ve known him as a man of integrity, someone who could guide me to change my mind by simply “looking my way,” and a grandpa who gave me my name (we both have Wayne as our middle name…). I learned a LOT from my grandpa. A LOT. As I prepare for the new year, and look forward to getting “teased” by the problem I’ve fallen in love with, I’m putting together a series of discussions - in person AND on line - to share ideas of problem solving and engagement with the communities I’m a part of.

Will I see at an upcoming #CoffeeChat (click here) or during an online Town Hall at Get Momentum (and, click HERE). Over the next few months, here are the topics we’ll explore. They are what I call the “not so secret steps to success."

Show Up

Recently, a Get Momentum member (and graduate of our past two Leadership Retreat programs in Ojai, CA) invited me to discuss the Get Momentum tenets of “FutureCasting” in to the new year with a small group of her most trusted clients AND advisors. Ranjani Mohana is an extremely successful small business owner in the Silicon Valley, and over the past few years, I’ve worked as her coach as she continues to “Show Up.” She builds her network by looking for ways to be of service. Think about that...

So, here’s the tactic I can recommend: Open your calendar - right now - and block out a MINIMUM of 12 days over the next 12 months. You can do 2-3 days a time, or 1 day a month, whatever you think might work for you. Your goal, find somewhere you can “show up,” at a meeting, a conference, an event, where your question can be “tested.” (You know, the problem you’ve fallen in love with.) 

I’ve got 9 of my 12 mapped out for 2015. Wanna talk about them? Want to meet me there? Let me know!

Do Good Work

"Good"…It’s such a darned relative word. What does “good work” mean to you? Is it work you enjoy doing? Is it work you get paid (well) to do? Is it work that you give away? Is it ALL of that? Or, is it something totally different? I know, I know, that was a long list of questions. But, it’s important that you know - from the get go - what “good work” means to you.

At the end of the day, for the next 5 days or so, do yourself a favor: Write down the times during that day where and when you were WAY engaged. When did time seem to disappear? Where did you notice that your energy was rockin’ at a night level? Where did you feel like you were doing “who” you are, not just what you do? Keep track of this over a week so you can do some kind of Weekly Review at the end. In there will be a lot (and I mean a LOT) of information.

Ok, so I’ve been writing in a daily journal at the end of each day since 1997. I answer the same three prompts at the end of the day, and I’d love to share that with you. Members of Get Momentum will tell you that these discussions around “searching for the good work” are always worth the time. Welcome!

Stay In Touch

Accountability. To the project. To the people. To the process. When you are there, time-and-time again, for the work that needs to be done, for the people you work with, and for all of the activities that need to happen in order to achieve success, you will find more and more opportunities coming your way. The people around you - what I call your “Social Network” - are the ones that are going to look forward to your call. They are the ones who will turn to you for assistance. And, they are the ones who will refer you to others, when the time is right. 

Today, right now in fact, go through your “Sent Items” in email. Look back over the last 30 days, and identify the people you’ve emailed who are “new” to your network. Then, as you think about who they are, what they work on, what keeps them busy, ask yourself this question, “Is there anything I can do to be of service?"

I’ve said it before, and I know I’ll say it again: “The best time to build your network is when you have something to give.”

What did I miss?

As YOU think about the secrets to success, what would you add to that list of four?

Simple, natural ways to get #Better

Do you know of a powerful way to make significant changes to the way you get things done? In life, and at work, you have a “way of being.” I remember reading that book a long time ago by Carl Rogers, and my main take-away was: I’ve got to question what I do, to know if what I do is working...

Via twitter, I met a guy named Marc. He has started a podcast (he’s still rockin’ and rollin’, talking with people all over the world). Recently, he and I had a chat on his “Natural Born Coaches” podcast and I gotta tell you, there’s some gold in there! 

Throughout our 35 minute conversation, he asked some great questions that caused me to think. I did my best to share my insights on what it takes to build not just a coaching business, but any business! Oh, and a MAJOR plus, he read the book before we talked!

Click here to see the podcast, along with Marc’s notes...

Or, of course, if you’re an iTunes podcast subscriber, here’s the link!

After you listen, leave a comment on it or send me a message to let me know what stood out most for you! You can ALWAYS send me a message via http://www.GetMomentum.co/contact

12 months from now...

How DO you really think about your future?

 

Good morning, we're getting some much-needed rain here in Ojai this week.

One thing I know: This rain is what we need for those flowers to grow and the lakes can fill. (You see, I like to hike and race triathlon in the Spring!)

 

Sometime this month, please (PLEASE!) do yourself a favor and visit the MODULE of this month's Momentum Theme: http://www.FutureCast.Life

 

And, if you have 5 minutes to spare today, please DO add your comment to the prompt at LinkedIn (Members click here…)

 

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