Journey and Destination - like Peanut Butter and Jelly (or chocolate!)

I often talk about the Journey and the Destination; I always require myself to step back and ask myself (process/debrief):

“Which is Which?”

Is me speaking at AU the journey? Or a destination? Is the http://www.BetterManCourse.com a Journey? Or a Destination? Is me meeting a new friend… you get it.

The part about being specific … I get it, and I’ll push on it.

If “being a millionaire” is something someone wants as a destination, we can help them by asking:

• Do you want to make a million dollars? (Like through a lifetime?)
• Do you want to have a million dollars to your name? (Like in a bunch of savings/real estate/investing accounts?)
• Do you want to earn a million dollars a year? (That’s $86,000 a month, for 12 months…)

I’m not here to judge; I am here to define.

What is the AMBITION? Or, in my case, “What’s the #KnownFor?” And, once you identify THAT, you’re ready to add new people to your circle of influence.

1. Soon after I added someone who made a million dollars a year (actually, he made a little more than that) to my social network, I went from earning $60,000 a year to more than $150,000. Within 24 months!
2. The moment I added someone who’d written more than 40 books to my network, I published a book. (Within 11 months!)
3. The moment I added someone who had a better relationship with his wife to my network, I became a better - and happier - husband.

I think you get it… it’s not a matter of WHAT the goal is, just be specific.

Know your #KnownFor.

Then, add someone to your network who has already gotten there. Not just to copy them; you may ultimately do things differently than he or she does.

The important thing is to be around someone who is there…in their version of the journey… AND the destination!

What do you want?

I sent an email to a leader I coach today…I took out some of the details, and left the rest for you!

 

Hi ______,

GREAT to chat with you today. Remember, there are three kinds of work:

1.  
2. Catching up
3. Keeping up
4. Getting Ahead

That last one can have TWO prongs:

• In my control
• Out of our control

Here’s a little of my thinking...

You want to organize your Email Inbox. And the to-do list. And the meeting schedule. And your calendar.

You crave a sense of control; you want to believe that what you WANT to do and what you HAVE to do can get done.

A long to-do list isn’t the problem.

Nor is email. Or too many meetings. Or a calendar out of control.

The problem is this:

The way you used to work doesn’t work anymore. 

Brute force, sheer will, working after hours or on the weekend won’t help.

You’re going to have to change the way you work; how you THINK about how you work must change.

I was there too. I understand.

I got the call one evening - it was after 6pm, dark outside, and I was still at work - and Jodi asked, “Are you coming home for dinner?” 

I hemmed and hawed; I made up an excuse about having SO MUCH to do and I suggested she go ahead and eat dinner without me.

It was Saturday night... and I wasn’t near done with all the work I’d had to do.

And so began my journey of becoming more productive. 

• A class? I took it. 
• A book? I read it. 
• A notebook? I bought it. 

I interviewed HUNDREDS of people asking the same question:

How do you manage your SELF so you have time to do everything?

And, it took me a few years to discover the secret…there are just a FUNDAMENTALS to managing myself, my time and my productivity. 

Not just one; but not 100 either. (Good news!)

The plan I provide is simple to follow, and easy to implement. 

Your success depends on deciding to put yourself first and keep your word. 

Let’s start with your morning… the first 60 minutes of each day. Here are the three things you’ll have to do:

1. Wake up when you say you will, and review your THREE kinds of work for the day.

If you set your alarm for 6am, get up at 6. Not 6:30. Not 6:15. No Snooze. If you’re going to snooze, then set the alarm for 6:08, ok? Next, sit down at your desk or at a table with a glass of lemon water or coffee (doesn’t matter to me) and review your list. Look at your calendar. Yes, even check your email. Look for these three kinds of work. (Don’t DO any of them, just review it all.)

a. Catching up: What is the work that’s overdue that you need to DO or DELEGATE?
b. Keeping up: What meetings are scheduled? What discussions do you need to continue? What planning needs to be reviewed?
c. Getting ahead: Look at your calendar 30-90 days out and ask, “What will we wish we’d started thinking about sooner?” Whatever the answer, add a next step to your to-do list. Delegate some research. Send an email. Make a phone call and leave a message. Do something(s) today that move you ahead.

2. Commit. Tell someone on your team - via text, email or face to face - what your 3 PRIORITIES are for the day. 

If you’re going to WIN, you need to let them know what you’re thinking about that THIRD kind of work: Getting Ahead. Clearly identify what you’re going to work on that is IN YOUR CONTROL and discuss or bookmark what’s OUT of your control. Too often, people get “hung-up” and don’t plan far enough into the future because they wave their arm and say, “It’s all unknown.” As a leader AND manager, your job is to identify and handle the 10%-20% that is IN your control and control it.

3. Set up to win. Organize your nutrition, transition and completion plans for the next 10 or so hours.

The energy and focus you have RIGHT NOW is based on the past 2-5 hours of movement…rest…nutrition. The more you set up yourself for those three, the better you’ll be at getting the important work done.

But, that’s a topic for another session...

This is where I call you on your s _ _ _ !

On time-change day, I recorded a “from-the-heart” video for you to watch. Or, to share with the man in your life who needs someone who’s willing to stand toe to toe and call them on their you-know-what.

Look, I’m not going to say you’re doing not enough; but, I will say you can do BETTER. Here’s a video I made for you that’s over at LinkedIn.

 

After you watch that video, click the like button. Every like and SHARE increases the chances that the right men will see this video.

5 Questions - about work and life (and balance)

 

Could a single question change everything?

I was a first-year Graduate Student, at the University of California. At the end of one especially difficult day, I asked for a meeting with a mentor. For about an hour, I explained how hard it was, how challenging the program was, how I might be re-thinking my career choice...

He listened. And then, at the best time possible, he asked:

“Would you know a good day, if you saw it?"

That question… Rocked. My. World.

That the question I needed to hear, because, quite frankly I was so myopic in my views that in fact I DIDN’T have a vision of what a good day would be! And, in that moment I discovered my love of questions.

A well placed question…it can change everything!

So, last week when I got FIVE questions from a buddy who’s writing a book, you can imagine how exciting that was for me. Below, the questions and (as of today) some of my ideas in response:

* How important is it to balance your daily schedule between “work” and “life.” If it is important, why? What percentage of time should you give each endeavor?

I’m one of those guys who goes “all-in.” If I’m working, you’re going to see an intensity and drive that walks along a line you’d call perfectionistic and overachieving. If you see me racing an Olympic-distance triathlon, you’ll see that everything I’ve got is right here, right now; I’ll give you 95%-97% of my heart rate for those 2 and a half hours. And, if you catch me sleeping, well of all the guys that I’ve interviewed, I constantly rate at the top of Deep Sleep / Light Sleep / Awake metrics through each night.

Now, my daily schedule needs to reflect the movement [not balance] between living…and making a living. It’s really challenging for me to give you a percentage, so here’s what I’d say:

Divide your day into natural sections, blocks of time that mean something to you.

Think about times of the day you need to think, plan, visualize and discuss the future. At other times of the day you need to “work.” You know, make the calls, write the emails, talk to people 1:1 or in small groups, read and review the documentation you’re studying. Then, there will be other times of the day you need to relax, recharge, refresh. Make sure you take care of your BODY and MIND needs, this way you can come back stronger and more focused than ever before.

* You’re a bike racer and triathlete. How much time to do you devote to those activities? And why do you think it makes a difference in your overall success?

I schedule my workouts 15-30 days in advance. Every Sunday, I review and renegotiate those workouts based on what city I am in, where I’m traveling and scheduled athletic events. Personally, I need something to train for; the people who can “just exercise because they’re supposed to” amaze me! I’ll always have 2-3 events (a ½ marathon, a triathlon, a Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim hike at the Grand Canyon…) on the calendar!

A workout is an hour. Unless it isn’t! That’s why I schedule them so far in advance. I know on a travel day, to get that 60-minute session in will be a challenge. And, on the weekend, the 2 hour run and 1 hour bike ride won’t happen if I “hope I have time."

Now, how does all this help me overall?

Well, the first part is what I shared earlier: I need a goal, something to go toward that has an objective finish line. When I step on that treadmill for a 2-hour indoor training session, I’m not bothered by the fact that I’ll be in one place for 120 minutes; I’m training to make it to the finish line of an upcoming event! Too many times entrepreneurs start with goals that aren’t objective enough, and they aren’t 100% willing to do the long, boring, unglamorous, behind-the-scenes work.

In my business life, as a writer, author and coach, I’ve found that my hardest projects are the ones where I don’t have clear goals. I’ll work overtime, stay up late and get up early, to clarify not just the goal, but iterative milestones that I can take on that will get me closer to what I want.

* You have a lot of things going on in your day. How do you prioritize?

In our book, “Get Momentum: How to Start When You’re Stuck,” Jodi and I give you a great “prioritization” tactic called the #KnownFor exercise. If you happen to read that book, and make it to chapter three, you’ll read the question we give you there: “What do you want to be known for?” This question is not meant to freak you out, or making you re-think your life. Instead, we ask you to bring it down to more immediate and more practical levels. 

Here’s now:

Step one: Identify 8-15 roles you have, at work and in life. My own examples (of course!) would include: Author, Husband, Executive Coach, Triathlete, Volunteer, Keynote Speaker, and Homeowner.

Step two: For each role, pick a particular project/event/milestone that is 6-12 months out. I like that time frame because it gets me OUT of the day-to-day overwhelm, into thinking about what those MOST important things are. 

Step three: Write a 3-5 sentence #KnownFor statement for each. 

It could look like this:

As an author, by September 10th I want to be known for submitting a book proposal to my publisher. I want the proposed idea to be exciting for me to want to write about AND tested by and in the market I’m writing to. I want to be known as an author who constantly brings new and useful things to readers worldwide.

My job NOW is to review those #KnownFor statements “as often as I need to so that I’m working on my priorities.” How often is that? Honestly, I’ve found the best cadence for me is every couple of days.

* You’ve said the hardest part of your job is to decide what NOT to do every day? How do you it?

First off, I gotta know what shouldn’t be on the list anymore. That’s where the #KnownFor process kicks in. ToDos and even projects have a sneaky way of making it to the list of things we think we should do. Check your calendar, your email inbox and today’s list. About once a week (Thursdays for me), I stop working for about 30 minutes, maybe an hour. And for that time, I go through every inventory of “work” I’ve collected that week. My goal?

To get rid of 50% of what is there! I will tell you the challenge, ready? While I’m cleaning up, I always see something that I added to my list and think, “Oh, it’ll just take a couple of minutes, I’ll do it right now.” Then, I watch a couple of short videos, read a few saved articles, draft a short 250-word article for one of the magazines/websites I write for. I make a phone call or two, even type out an email. And then...

And THEN, I’m right where I was before. 

So…NO! My job during this clean-up process is to look at a list of 10 things and GET RID of 5 of them. I may delegate 2, delete 2 and move one 5-8 weeks out on the calendar. I do ANYthing I can to clean up my system so that I know what I am doing, have to do, and can get by without doing.

* What advice would you give to those so called “workaholics” that think success lies in the amount of hours you put towards your work?

I looked up that word in the dictionary and found, "a person who compulsively works hard and long hours.” I’m not here to judge if you’re working hard (and not smart) or long hours. I’ve met people who have a position, situation or circumstance that demands they work 10-12-15 hours a day. My question is always one of “sustainability.” That is, can you work 15 hour days…for a career?

There are going to be projects you’re on and events you’re a part of that dictate you work hard…and long. Alternatively, there is other work you have to do that COULD be easier! The advice I have, look at your #KnownFor statements that I wrote about earlier. Go back through them, and add how you want to be known as being, not just doing. If you know you get tempted to work long, hard hours, put something in there about working efficiently, asking for help early on in your projects and getting things done in the time that you promised. 

One of the MAIN reasons that people work long hard hours is they give themselves too much time to get things done. Instead of telling yourself you’ll have that “thing” (whatever it is) done by Friday next week, set a timer for 30 or 60 or 90 minutes, and go ALL OUT right now on it. 

Wanna prove me wrong? Go!

I shared earlier that a well-placed question just may change everything. So, I’ll ask you: “What’s the question YOU need to ask yourself to take what you do and how you do it to the next level?"

No time? It's because you don't know time!

How early in the day do you KNOW that you have no time?

It's a typical Wednesday and you started the morning doing the "right things." You woke up rested, in your own bed. If your partner was there, and awake, you welcomed them to the day (and, if they were still asleep, you quietly made your exit!).

Years ago, I contributed to an article about this state of "The Productive Experience." (Link here.)

You know your routines, and what you need to do at the office...

• to rest,
• to move your body a little, and
• eat SOMEthing that will give you the energy you need

Before you continue, pause for a moment.

In fact, give yourself 60 seconds of moments.

Re-seat yourself in your chair. Check your weight is balanced throughout your seat, your back is comfortable and you're breathing deeply. Next, breathe in...as long, and as deeply as you can. Right when you get to maximum fill...hold your breath.

Count to 7. And ever so slowly, let your breath out.

Next, close your eyes, and do that two more times.

(That was just .06% of your day. You have time for this!)

 

If you don't have enough time in the day...

...start by tracking the three things you do WITH time.

There is a time-log process to complete over the next three days to change the way you work. And, it could change the way you live.

It's time to track your time in a way you haven't done it before.

Old time management methods had you stop multiple times during the day and write down in great detail all you did that day. For this exercise, for you to begin the process of controlling your time, you're only going to track THREE things:

1. Time you're catching up
2. The time you're keeping up
3. The times of the day you're getting ahead

Let's get you started "write" now. Print the time log PDF (here) or make your own. I suggest you divide the day into 48 sections (blocks of 30 minutes each).

As soon as you have that piece of paper (and I do recommend paper, for reasons I can explain if you want to talk!) choose THREE symbols that you can use to annote each half-hour block.

I use a +, a - and an = sign.

And this is how it works... Start a countdown timer (you can use your Smartphone, or click here) for 30 minutes.

Then, work. Do. Email. Meet. Think. Read. Talk. Strategize. Whatever it is you call your work, do it for the next 29.75 minutes.

THEN, when the alarm rings, you'll open your Time Log (you can print the PDF here) and mark one of three symbols.

No explanation, no justification, no opinion; just a subjective annotation.

• Are you ahead? (Plus symbol, +.)
  
• Are you up to date? (Equal sign, =.)
  
• Are you behind and have to catch up? (Minus symbol, -.)

Once you have a few days of this (minimum of 3 days, max of 7) you have some really, really good information.

Over the years, I've heard something like THIS over and over again:

"Jason, I tracked my time for just a few days, and I'm already noticing a pattern: There are certain times of days, certain days per week where I'm CONSTANTLY in 'behind-only' mode. It's during those times of those days that I'm most stress, run around the most frantically, and take the least care of myself. I don't eat right, I don't drink enough water, I don't get up from my desk or move my body...bottom line, I'm compromising everything."

Of course, I'm paraphrasing AND combining.

But here's the deal, I've heard that once people KNOW their time, they can do something about it.

Your Challenge:
(Should you accept it!)

1. Track your time for 3 days.
2. Identify any patterns you can.
3. See if you can shift the kind of work you expect yourself to do to different times of the day, or different days of the week so that you can focus on your priorities.

EXTRA CREDIT:
Comment below with (1) what you THINK you'll find if you do this tracking and - of course in week or so - (2) what you ACTUALLY realized after you tracked your time this way!

 

 

PS: Here's that that time log/tracker looks like. Again, you can print this one, or make your own. I do suggest you use a PRINTED version!

3 Techniques to Improve Your Perspective

Change Your Perspective...

...change your life!

 

“How are you?” a colleague asks. 

“So busy,” you reply. 

Another typical day in the office. 

And, the #1 reason we co-founded the GET MOMENTUM Leadership Academy. Your routines can be valuable when they streamline your workflow. 

But if you’re feeling stuck, it’s time to change your perspective. It's what we do...

Keep reading below to learn THREE ways you can change your perspective. 

But first, a video:

Change the way you see (and do) things
Below, you'll learn 3 ways to change your perspective, get MORE of the more important things done, and be a better _________ [fill in the blank!].

#1. Go. There.

Work where you won’t be interrupted for 30 minutes. 

Reserve a conference room and go there to think deeply about a big, long-term project. You’ll get more quality work done in a shorter amount of time if you protect yourself from interruptions by other people, your own workspace and your technology. 

How do you find this time? Here's a video to get you thinking...

 

#2. Meet. Them.

Meet with someone and talk about what’s real. 

A mentor, a coach, a therapist, a sponsor…you need someone you can talk to in confidence.  Hearing another point of view on your problems can give you a fresh perspective, relieve some stress, and it may even produce new solutions.  

So much stress is caused by you thinking about (and REthinking about!) something that should be different. Once you know you want things to change, you've GOT to have the conversation - a NEW conversation - with yourself and someone on your team who can help you get there.

 

#3. Be. Mindful.

Think. Do. Then think again. 

It’s all routine: how, where, and when we think. So, change it up. Write the name of a project on a note card, get a pen, and go for a 10-minute walk outside. When you get 5 minutes away, stop and write down what you’ve thought of about the project. Then, walk back to your desk. Changing your location changes your perspective. Stimulating your brain with fresh supply of oxygen can give you the creative boost to notice what was right there all along.

 

Of course you’re busy...

Change see old things in new ways, get ideas to work smarter, and achieve more of the goals you’ve set.

Extra Credit

Download this Conversation Guide infographic.

You just may get an idea you can use to have a better conversation and change your perspective today!

 

 

 

We cofounded the GET MOMENTUM Leadership Academy to serve leaders who serve others. You receive training AND coaching in 12 Leadership Skills you’ll be called on to improve year after year. We coaching you In Person, In Print, and Online. 

Interested? 

Take a look at the 12-month Curriculum here...

 

From the White House

The (*Lost) Art of Letter Writing

I write letters. Some people say I write a LOT of letters.
Sometimes the letters I write have an opinion. Other times, I’m sending an acknowledgement of the person I’m writing. When I look out at my world and see an action, a movement or an event and have the thought, “Wow, I’m grateful,” that’s my indicator to take out my journal and write.
Just about everything I do begins as an idea in a notebook. Or on a white board. And, every now and then, on a restaurant napkin (hopefully, a paper napkin!). This gives me the chance to write a “rough, rough draft,” knowing that if I really do ultimately write that letter that I’m thinking it’ll have gone through a few revisions.
Many times, I keep the original letter I send. It’s easier than you think…all I do is take a picture with my Smart Phone, and add that jpg as a note in my digital filing system. I label the photo with the name of the person I’m writing, that’s it. All the meta data (when I wrote it, where I wrote it) is saved in the file itself.
As you can see from the picture below, I’ve been doing this for a long, long time!


Over time, I’ve experimented with different formats for my letter writing exercises. For a while now, the letters I write follow a loose format which includes responding to the following prompts:

1. I call out in 4-7 sentences exactly what I saw (or learned) that person did. 
2. Next, I describe how “what they did” makes me feel.
3. And, I include what I’ve learned from their action.

Now, that’s all a loose suggestion, and I’ve only been practicing writing letters like that for a few years. I can imagine in a decade or so I’ll have changed it up again, but that’s not the point. The most important thing is that you ask yourself THIS question:

“Are there people in my world I could write a letter to?"

If the answer is anywhere near YES, open your Momentum Journal and write that person’s name on the top of the page. Over the next couple of days, add a few lines, ideas or paragraphs as you begin to respond to the three prompts above.
Want some help? I write and talk a lot about “Journaling” in my books. Click here.